Skip to main content

Intro: Christian marriage counseling

Welcome to our YouTube channel where we explore Christian marriage realities. In this video, we will dive into the breakdown of Christian marital relationships. 

Although many Christians believe that their faith is the foundation for a strong marriage, that isn’t always the case. There are several factors that contribute to the breakdown of Christian marriage.

Our focus today will be on the book Married for Good by theologian Paul Stevens for solutions to the problems of relationships between Greek couples.

Covenants left with empty shells

Being in a committed relationship has its challenges, and Christian marriages are no exception. Despite faith providing a strong foundation, external factors can cause problems in marriages.

Couples may face financial difficulties, infidelity, and a lack of communication. Furthermore, some Christian beliefs and practices, such as gender roles and submission, can create tension within a marriage.

In this lesson, we’ll examine how these factors contribute to the breakdown of Christian marriages.

The couple is faithful to each other, but there is no love between them. I find it particularly sad that some couples endure marriage without love and think God’s will is respected.

God, however, thinks differently. That’s not divorce, of course. Trying to cure a disease by eliminating the patient altogether is like trying to fix a marriage without love.

In divorce, there is no single event

In divorce, there is no single event; it is a process that occurs over time. Before their bodies break up, their hearts begin to break up. There is usually a slight loss of courtesy between the parties at the beginning of the process.

Divorcing couples typically go through a very typical emotional process in one day, but it usually takes six to two years to complete.

Let’s take a look at how the couple’s body and mind are described in the book.

The first step is to break the illusion. There is a crack in the cover of the romantic illusion. “Is this all there is to love?” people ask.

It is at this point that the spouse’s positive side is shrinking and the negative side is growing. 

Find and remember only the other’s mental weakness as a reason for the couple to wither. During this stage, marital discord leads to family problems.

As the second stage progresses, tension continues to build. Unresolved problems pile up, increasing tension between the couple. There is competition between couples.

When couples reach this stage, they begin to avoid one another. They lose trust in their spouses and stop conversing with them. 

Their sex has never been affected by problems like this before. It is possible to experience erectile dysfunction or insensitivity, for example.

I don’t understand why this kind of problem would occur. In sex, the body and mind work together, but resentment and hatred towards each other grow in the mind.

At this stage, it’s important to resolve the problem properly. If problems continue to pile up, the couple’s sex and friendship will disappear, and criticism, extramarital affairs, and arguments will occur.

At stage 3, couples become indifferent to one another. This last step is characterized by silent malice and despises towards each other. 

In the couple’s minds, ennui and indifference increase anger and revenge. Fighting is a wishful thing for couples. 

Consequences of deteriorating relationships

What’s worse is that couples don’t even fight. Stepping back is easier for a couple than attacking each other and getting hurt. There are also a number of emotional deaths experienced by couples during this period.

Separation is seen as a solution to the couple’s problems. However, if you don’t deal with the problem properly, divorce will follow.

Is it your duty to make your spouse happy? You promised that on your wedding day. As a couple, you vowed to love and cherish each other.

Marriage covenants also imply this. Using all the appropriate methods is our duty to make our spouses happy. 

The gift of sex, friendship, and fidelity should be shown to your spouse by respecting, listening to, and cherishing him.

Committing a covenant means not having an affair, being sexually faithful to your spouse, but not expressing affection well.

A covenant is also created when a husband asks his wife for sexual love without sharing a friendship with her. Those who continue to criticize their spouses, whether there are people present or not, are also making promises.

The solution to a specious covenant is a renewal, not divorce, according to Paul Stevenson.

There are two parties to the covenant. The covenant may only be kept by one person. 

It is usually only the person who is willing to change who starts the healing process, regardless of whether the other person follows.

When the wrong reality is put in front of this person, a covenant love such as this demands change. Before the other person shows any movement, change your mind to go first.


Do covenants that have lost their essence inevitably end in tragedy? Not at all. Love is at the core of the covenant, and it requires fidelity from both parties. It is possible for the two to court each other again and renew the covenant. Don’t hold back.

I will discuss how to repair a broken marriage next time. I appreciate you watching our video on the breakdown of Christian marriages. 

I hope you have gained some insight into the challenges Christian couples face after watching this video. 

Please leave any questions or comments below. We have more content on Christian marriages on our YouTube channel, so be sure to subscribe.

How a Couple Went from the Brink of Divorce to a Happily Ever After!

Leave a Reply

A Quick & Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Faith
Enter your email address and we will send you a 100% free e-book about the Christian Worldview Guide.
The Christian Worldview
O Favored One