Finding a Christian Spouse: How Do You Find a Godly Spouse?
Next is a story from Robert B. Cialdini’s book Influence: Science and Practice. A woman named Sarah, who lives in Robert B. Cialdini’s neighborhood, started living with her boyfriend Tim after his boyfriend lost his job.
It was not a good situation for Sarah. Sarah wanted her boyfriend to quit drinking and marry her to live faithfully. But her boyfriend had no intention of doing that at all. For some time, each other had a hard time due to disagreement.
Sarah decided to break up with her boyfriend after thinking about it. Her boyfriend left home. After breaking up with her boyfriend, Sarah started dating her ex-boyfriend. They were engaged and made a wedding plan.
The two set a date for their wedding and even made wedding invitations. At that time, Tim contacted Sarah again. He persistently asked Sarah to see him again. The man said he would quit drinking and marry Sarah. Sarah heard him and canceled the marriage and started living with Tim again.
But when Sarah started living with him again, the man said he had no intention of quitting drinking. A month later, he postponed the marriage he had promised. The man became a drunk again. He didn’t even keep his promise to marry Sarah.
Nevertheless, Sarah doesn’t break up with a man and live together. Can you understand Sarah’s choice and behavior? Cialdini defines Sarah’s behavior as the Consistency Principle. The promise, which was the basis for the woman’s choice of a man again, was not kept.
The man did not keep his promise to be faithful without drinking and to marry her. But women are living without breaking up with men. The law of consistency is a human psychological state in which a person tries to maintain their choices and decisions. Sarah wants to keep her choice of men.
If she breaks up with a man, she proves her will is wrong. It’s a shame for her. This is what the law of coherence tells you. It is that humans are never rational. At the proper age of marriage, the man and woman of Christ want to meet a spouse who Fits God’s will. Then I will ask you.
What kind of person is your spouse that God wants? Also, who is your spouse according to God’s will? How can I meet a spouse who fits God’s will? Aren’t you curious about it? From now on, you may have an antipathy to what I say to you. But I was hoping you could listen to what I said.
Because it will be a good guideline for you. Let’s recall Sarah’s story again. Of course, Sarah is not a Christian. Therefore, the cohabitation she chose is not a biblical decision. But there is something to learn from Sarah’s choice. Because you, a Christian, can make the same choice as Sarah.
It can’t be an exception even if you attend church for a long time and pray a lot. Anyone can fall into a trap that Sarah is missing. Many factors, such as your growth background and psychological state, affect your choice.
They affect you, and the result can be good or bad. You will pray a lot to meet your biblical spouse. But there’s something you should be careful about here. It would help if you didn’t fall into prayers. It may sound hazardous, but we must not just pray. Review all the factors that affect your choice.
Don’t just read the Bible. You must not read the Bible, but you must not read only the Bible. Read psychology books, humanities, or books in various fields. Understand various aspects of human beings through such knowledge. Think about your growth process. Who influenced you the most?
Who else do you hate the most? Who is the person you couldn’t forgive? Isn’t your parents who you hate and can’t forgive? Then you will know that the person you love resembles your parents. Do you hate your father? You can see your father’s figure in the men you’ve met.
Do you hate your mother? You can see your mother’s figure from the women you have met. Can’t you break the relationship that you have to break up? Then you will have an unhappy marriage like Sarah. If you met and married a man like Tim, like Sarah, you will resent God forever.
But God doesn’t test you. You chose your spouse according to the law of consistency, not God’s will. But you resent God. You will say. I prayed to God, but why did God give me such a spouse? Yes, You prayed to God. But you didn’t use the Reason God gave you.
This is what most Christians make mistakes about. They are mistaking the meaning of faithfulness. The Word of God activates the function of Reason. So it helps Christians make the right choices and actions. Do you want to meet the right Christian spouse?
Then use Reason while praying. Read books in various fields, find experts, and consult with them. Think about what factors affect you. That’s how to meet the right spouse for you.
Hello, this is o favored one today We are going to study how to find a biblical spouse.
Christians are unique beings in life the standard of choice is the word of God. Marriage is the most crucial choice in life. There are many choices you make in your life-work, friends, and jobs.
The most important choice is to choose your spouse. Today let’s find out what a biblical spouse is. What kind of person is a Christian?
A Christian is a person who leaves everything to the Lord. For Christians, the same goes for a marriage. God is the one who leads your marriage.
Young people at the right age of marriage should understand what the Bible says about
marriage. Choosing a spouse by your standards, not the Bible brings unfortunate results so today.
Let’s learn about the biblical spouse. Which is the beginning of your marriage? The Christian couple’s prototype is a church. Jesus Christ and the church are two persons. But mysteriously unite into one person and one body.
When we say that we are the body of Christ. We do not give up our consciousness and individual personality. Instead, it is the holy body of Jesus Christ whose individuality has become more apparent.
This is the church. Also, this relationship is the Christian couple’s prototype. I will read the words of Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22-24
Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church his body of which he is the savior now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything
This means that the wife should do her husband as the church does to Christ. There may be a woman who might be dissatisfied with this.
But what’s impressive is that Paul has more advice to give her husband. Husbands love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
To make her holy cleansing her by washing her with water through the word and presenting her to himself.
As a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself after all. No one ever hated their own body but they feed and care for their body just as christ is.
The church for we are members of his body. what does this mean? What’s the difference between loving your child or friend and your spouse? Loving your children and friends is loving your children and friends.
But to love your spouse is to love yourself says the Bible. The Bible says to his wife as not an enslaved person’s subservience but an unconstrained person’s submission.
This is what the Bible says about obedience. Some facts were judged and confirmed by the will of the Lord.
Then the church is willing to devote and obey its individuality and personality to the will of the Lord. This is the principle that the church obeys Christ and in the smallest church, the family follows this principle.
The most representative Bible words about marriage are Genesis chapter 2 verses 21 and 22.
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib; he had taken out of the man and he brought her.
To the man after adam was created adam’s wife was created while performing God’s mission. Think about the meaning this fact gives you.
This is what the Bible calls the mystery of marriage. When a man met his wife he was a different person but God allowed men and women of different personalities to exist as flesh as one body.
So that a wife and a husband become one body. The Eve created by adam’s ribs has a decisive influence on Adam’s ribs alone is meaningless.
But he could lead adam to destruction or eternal life when God gave him one personality. This should be noted by married Christian women or unmarried Christian women.
Your careless words have a significant influence on your boyfriend and husband. Men who love their wives or girlfriends are affected by what women say.
So women should be careful when talking to men. Imagine a big ship. The big ship changes direction according to the tiny movement of the key.
Marriage is the same in particular a husband’s life changes according to his wife’s words. Today we studied biblical spouses. Next time, we will study more deeply about my biblical spouse.
When you meet someone, don’t you wonder if this person is the spouse God gave you? How can you know that the person you are meeting now is the spouse God has given you?
Today, let’s find out what biblical love is and how spouses can meet. To know about Christian spouses, you first need to understand Christian love.
Encountering distorted love from the mass media, Christians are brainwashed too. Even Christians live as if false love is real love. Everyone dreams of love at first sight, hot love like fire. But is such love true love?
Don’t jump the first two or three stairs at once. There is a step in love. The love that takes steps in healthy. Second, start with friendship. The love between the opposite sex begins with friendship.
Check if you can build a friendship with them. Pastor Peter Masters also says to check if there is evidence of intimacy that manifests true friendship.
The time you have passionate love in your entire life is short. Love based on friendship accounts for the rest of the time. Check if there is any problem communicating between the two people.
The first step for men and women to become one body is friendship. Do you know if there are frequent conflicts or disputes between the two during this period, It is also time to check whether the feud or dispute is resolved well through dialogue.
Pastor Peter Masters asks you to confirm that there is love to grow in harmony in your relationship and share purpose, goal, and pleasure. You can think of it as God’s guidance if such fruit appears. Until we know if a true friendship is possible between the two, we have to suppress the feelings of love.
Second, abandon your greed. Pastor Peter Masters says: We have to abandon the immature dreams of love and marriage in our thoughts.
Third, marriage shouldn’t be considered so fantastic. How can we ask for God’s guidance in marriage when we’re already planning on getting married and enjoying it?
You shouldn’t skip friendship and move on to the next level. It would help if you didn’t even try to lead the other person.
You should abandon your impatience and selfishness and find someone to be your spouse, but leave it to God’s guidance. So don’t hurry.
Because selfish love puts itself at the center, it does not seek God’s glory and advice. Don’t rush to date and marry if you don’t like the family you live with now or because you’re old.
You enter the school of God through that process.
Fourth, don’t rush. How will God lead our relationship? In Genesis, there is a story of Isaac’s marriage. Isaac’s marriage story is a lesson for you living in the present. Isaac wasn’t busy looking for his wife.
He believed in God altogether. Isaac did not use humane methods such as matchmaking. To believe in God is to be in no hurry.
Fifth is don’t show yourself to others at once.
For men and women, dating is when love can deepen, but it’s when You can see if the other person is the right person for me.
Try to show yourself to the other person little by little. Don’t stop praying while you are meeting someone. Ask God’s will to continue if the other person is the right person for you.
Sixth, focus on something significant. Don’t you consider the other person’s ability when looking for a suitable spouse?
Remember, Abraham’s servant looked into Rebecca’s character. What is the most important thing for you to meet your spouse? Who will be with you all your life? Are a spouse’s personality and holiness more important than ability?
Seventh, parents should not interfere too much. In Isaac and Rebecca’s marriage, the parents of the two men and women are only helpers. Their marriage is strictly up to their opinions. So, parents should not interfere too much in their children’s marriage.
Eighth, the closer you are to God, the closer the couple becomes. Imagine a triangle. The closer you get to God, the closer your relationship becomes.
Ninth, the wedding is a place of confirmation. How can I know if this person is my spouse? It’s only when two people get married at the wedding ceremony. The two came to God’s guidance in prayer with faith, God’s will.
Tenth, God’s plan is perfect. Isaac finally meets Rebecca at the age of forty and gets married. Isaac was praying at that time too. Like this, God’s will and timing are accurate.
So, believe in God, pray, and wait. Today, I looked for ten things to watch out for to find a spouse of Christian. I pray that brothers and sisters who are not married meet their spouses with God’s grace and guidance.
4 reasons why Christians shouldn’t have sex before marriage
Meeting an aggressive man and woman can lead to lust. Christians are no exception, so sometimes they have sex even though they know they are sinners. The problem is that sin is addictive. What happens if a Christian falls into a sexual temptation every time they go on a date?
Today, let’s find out four reasons Christians should avoid sex before marriage.
It is natural for men and women to meet, be attracted to each other, and fall in love. It’s very natural for each other to be attracted to the biological elements of the other.
But when men and women seek God’s guidance, it’s essential to know that there are different levels of love, says Rev. Peter Masters.
If you only indulge physically on a date, their love doesn’t grow anymore. It doesn’t grow into a higher level of love than that, but it stagnates or retreats. This is why men and women should not have sex before marriage.
What would a man and a woman look like if they had premarital sex before marriage? Men and women can doubt each other’s fidelity. “Oh, this person can have sex if the atmosphere is created” The suspicion will grow within you. So the trust and faith of the two people start to falter.
There is the Holy Spirit in us. The Holy Spirit is not happy that you sin repeatedly. You will feel it yourself. Then you gradually live amid sin and progressively move away from God. When the relationship with God is shaken, the relationship with people is also shocked. The act of loving each other naturally alienates each other.
Even if they had premarital sex, it would be a relief if they got married. But let’s assume that even one person can’t get married and break up.
If you think about the three reasons I’ve discussed so far, premarital sex can separate the two because it’s false intimacy. It’s like the Garden of Eden for good and evil. If a man and a woman who had premarital sex break up without getting married, only wounds and guilt will remain for the two.
Such damage and shame hurt the relationship even if you meet another person later. Sin has a recurring property. Even if you meet a new person, you can repeat the same sin. So it’s better not to have premarital sex that will bring misfortune.